The Story of Christmas Crepes

Christmas crepes are a tradition as old as Christmas itself. While historians disagree on the precise origin of the Christmas Crepe, many believe that it was Santa himself who first shared a Christmas Crepe with ancient Scandinavians known as "vikings". It is also believed that it was the "vikings" who suggested that Santa pair the Christmas Crepe with a glass of animal wine, as was custom in those times. Since the "vikings" had not yet invented stoves or refrigerators, there was no way to cool or heat the animal wine and it was therefore served tepid. While some cultures drink their animal wine chilled (Spain) and others piping hot (Panama), tepid animal wine is the correct way, as Santa and the "vikings" intended. 

Long after the "vikings" had passed on, Christmas Crepes remained. Perhaps most importantly, Christmas Crepes featured prominently in the Cold War and played a major role in securing a peaceful resolution to the Cuban Missile Crisis. President Kennedy was forced to tell Khrushchev the secret Kennedy Christmas Crepe recipe in order to avert a nuclear holocaust. President Kennedy reportedly commented that "a man is only as strong and pure of mind as is his recipe for Christmas Crepes." He would later be assassinated.  

As with many Christmas traditions, Christmas Crepes became increasingly commercialized toward the end of the 20th century. The most egregious form of this trend was the short-lived series "Christmas Crepes Adventures" starring Neal McDonough, which ran from 1992-95. McDonough played tough-talking LA detective Curly R. Sipper, who would travel the world in search of adventure and new Christmas Crepe recipes. Many people seemed to forget why Christmas Crepes were eaten at all! Of course, as you now know, we eat Christmas Crepes with tepid animal wine in order to remember Santa's fateful meeting with the "vikings", as well as to remember their contribution to international security in the face of geopolitical uncertainty. 

As time marches on, the Christmas Crepe tradition continues to evolve. Notably, many North Americans enjoy pretending that Christmas Crepes are "not actually a Christmas tradition" and that they've "never heard of Christmas Crepes". This new tradition has gone so far that there have not even been any songs recorded about Christmas Crepes (until now). Of course, we all have fond memories of sitting around the holiday pit, glass of tepid animal wine in hand, waiting for Grannie Gran to get the last Christmas Crepe out of the smoker. So pass along this story to those around you in need of good cheer! It's time to get the Christmas Crepes!